Jan. 27th, 2011

aivilo_18: (Default)
Dear Lunch Thief:
 
There was something like $8.00 worth of smoked Scottish applewood on that fucking salad you just enjoyed.  There is absolutely no possible way you mistook this particular salad for any of the other shitty salads in the fridge today.
 
In conclusion, I fucking hope you fucking choke on it and everyone around you conveniently forgets how to administer the Heimlich, you sadistic fuck.  Your thieving hands should be separated from your body in the messiest, most painful way possible, ground up, turned into a soup, and then fed back to you.  I'm not sure whether your washing and drying of my lunch container, which you then left on the kitchen table for me, was considerate or if the act makes me want to beat you to death with a tire iron. 
 
Either way, I still hope someone visits you in the night and sandpapers your nipples off.
 
Fuck you very much.
 
::twitches::
 
Me.

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aivilo_18

June 2012

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